Timing Is Everything

Have you ever felt like you just have bad timing? Or that time is just not on your side? 

If I had more time, or gone back in time to change some of my past decisions, I wonder how this would have affected the future that I have today. Or, if I could have just been in the right place at the right time, maybe my life could have been different. I like to dwell in the past, this is my weakness. Timing is everything. In my head I like to reorganize my past events, introduce a whole bunch of “what ifs” and create endless narrative around the different possible scenarios “that could have been”.

I do believe that there is a place and time for every stage in life. But what if you don’t have the opportunity to realize a life stage due to conflicting life obligations? Like travel due to family obligations, party the night away because of work or school obligations and maybe even explore different love relationships when young because of family expectations and restrictions and now you are married with kids.

There isn’t a way to skip any phase of life. If you are experiencing a void of some kind, a feeling of emptiness will creep on you and will sweep over you like a wave. A yearning will start building in the cracks of your soul. Exploring different parts of our identity and personality is just a part of our human condition. I know for my personality, there are still a lot of unexplored identities I would like to tease out, the question though I ask is… when? When is it a good time to explore? To change? To seek? I don’t think a good time for “being” exists. You just do life as it comes. Life is not a dress rehearsal. 

I met my husband in my twenties, almost a ten-year gap passed, and we found each other again at the same pub through mutual friends. We were at the right place at the right time, we reunited and two years later we were married. I guess the first time we got together it didn’t work because it was bad timing. But then I sometimes wonder what our life would be like if we did end up committing when we were young. Would we be the same people? Was it really bad timing? Or was the gap that we weren’t together just wasted time? 

I question the timing of my life because it is something that I cannot control, and this bothers me. I have to trust that whatever stage I am in my life, I am making the best decisions for myself with conviction and based on my value system. I have to use what resources and energy I have in the moment to make the most of my current situations, without judgment and criticism of my past decisions, and have no expectations of the future. Everything that I have conjured up in my life is an accumulation of my past. The trust and faith that I have in myself gets shaky when I feel like time is not on my side, or that I have wasted my time. My ego gets bruised and I feel like my value system needs to be revaluated.

I worry about having regrets. Then I get frustrated about worrying, and waste my time on regretting my past decisions. It is cyclical hell. When I get into this state, I try to forgive my past decisions and move on. This is the only thing I can do. Stay firm in my values and sit in gratitude. I remind myself that I am not my past, and that my worth doesn’t decrease from my past decisions. Even though I step into my fantasy world of “what ifs” for only just a minute to indulge myself, I know that too long in this state of mind, judgement engulfs me and so I create distance and step out of this space. I try to balance my expectations of what I am able to accomplish, with the time I have, and with the resources allowable to me at the time. I know I can’t do it all. Even though things don’t always work out in a timely fashion and not exactly how I want, there is still lots of new and exciting possibilities coming my way and dwelling on regrets or wasted time is not how I want to spend my days.

The time is now. 

Wherever you are. 

This is the right place and the right time to live your life. 

Today. 

Be you.

No regrets!

Imagination is Your Magic

Dino roars are common in my living room, coming out of my toddlers little lungs, at full capacity. 

I join in, every time! 

I roar with him, and try to imagine the feelings and images he is creating, in his mind as he swirls around my kitchen, into the hallway and down to the living room. 

The more I entertain my imagination with him, the more I sink into the moment, and feel true presence.

It is in these times that I think how powerful imagination is to our health, and sense of fulfilment. Presence alone cannot satisfy the true richness that a moment brings, it’s also the simulation of new sensations out of nothing that is remarkable. From nothing your mind can create something. 

When I set up a goal for myself, I immediately imagine what it would feel like having completed that goal. I relish in the end product, in the pride of accomplishment, and the idea of what it would be like if a certain outcome came to be. 

Imagination is a great tool to envision a path or a dream come to fruition. 

But why is it so much easier for children to accept imagination as it comes, without attachment, without wanting and grasping for completion. Childrens imagination is limitless and keeps giving. At what age does this change? 

Over the years, I have come to terms that my dreams and visions are exactly what they are supposed to be. I have imagined my life up with the help of my thoughts and emotions, to create the picture of what my life is today, and it is a magical story, with rich characters and fantastical plot lines. Imagination has never left me, it has just adapted to my adult needs. Children believe in fantastic tales and create amazing stories. I don’t see why imagination should ever be rejected or forgotten about.

It is because of imagination, we have the lives we have. 

I still have many opportunities in my life where I use my childlike imagination to see the wonder in people and my life, if I choose to. I think everyone has the opportunity to slay dragons at work, battle storms at home, ride stallions across town to see friends, trap wizards in the grocery store, and run from dinosaurs in the park. The choice is ours. 

Don’t forget to dream, and create the story in which you are the hero of your life. Give yourself a moment in the day to put away the “what is” and try on “what could be”. This is important, for keeping yourself flexible, and accepting the most vulnerable part of yourself. The child that you used to be. 

Your imagination is your magic.

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you,

because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it”

The Minpins by Roald Dahl